Debunking Shashi Tharoor's nomination as SG of the UN

Ok, so it is well-known that I am not a fan of Indian politics and/or politicians, regardless of their position across the spectrum. Today I would like to speak about a recent development that, on the surface looks great for India, but is in reality a GREAT example of how India's leaders sell the nation out.

In recent years India has striven to create UN reform, specifically, it has striven to become a permanent member of the UN Security Council. Without getting into the various arguments (veto power or not etc.) it is safe to say that India has failed miserably to insure itself such a seat. The fact that India is the 2nd most populous nation in the World...the fact that it is a fully-functioning (though off CHAOTIC) Democracy, and therefore a great model for the majority of the World...the fact that it is apart of the BRIC group (as well as other IBSA), which suggests it is one of the few nations that really has the chance to go from developing nation into an economic powerhouse not withstanding.

That being said, it also should highlight the fact that Congress Party (all but) promised India would get a Permanent Seat as part of its election campaign (and win) in 2004. The fact that a party can even make such a ludicrous campaign promise alone should suggest the state of Indian politics (like how Congress promised free electricity in AP...hmm, they are still waiting on that one huh? lol). Regardless of whether such a promise is reasonable, it is safe to say Congress has failed miserably.

So when recently India announced the candidature (and backing of the candidate) of Shashi Tharoor as the next Secretary General of the UN, I was aghast. Nevermind that it is improper protocol to do so. Nevermind that there is an unwritten rule that the Secretary General (SG) will not be of a "powerful nation".

Don't get me wrong, Shashi Tharoor is CERTAINLY qualified. In fact, there are few people out there who are more qualified, but let's look deeper. First and foremost, why would a nation back a candidate (which isn't proper protocol), especially one that doesn't even work in India? For that matter, why would India want a representative as the SG when it is a well-known point that only "lesser" countries are allowed to have SGs. Isn't this symbolic acceptance and acquiescence that India is not "a great power" or an "emerging great power"? Yes it is.

The answer is quite simple actually. Congress Party (who a friend of mine so precisely qualifed as "The Republicans of India", in that they are the "party of the heart/emotions", as opposed to Democrats -BJP perhaps?- who are the "party of the mind") has quite frankly FAILED. It has failed to procure a UN seat. It also knows the Indian people quite well, and knows that if an Indian becomes SG most voters (most are not quite educated to put it nicely) will be ecstatic, and well, that's more votes for Congress.

There is a huge problem here though. First, it is dhimittude acceptance that India is not a great power. Sure, its just symbolic, but politics is mainly symbolic anyway! Second, it is acceptance that India can't get a UN permanent seat, which it certainly deserves. Three, and this is BIG folks, if Shashi Tharoor does NOT act independent with regards to US interests, it will only make India seem like a lap-dog to US interests. Already, in the last 2 years since Congress has taken over the government the World has taken notice. Nuclear deal? Joint-exercises? Flip-flop on Iran? What is happening to India's foreign policy?! Congress has in 2 years shown that it prefers to be the lackey of US interests, which is something it has NEVER done before. If Tharoor does not prove to be overtly ANTI-American, the accusations that India has "sold out" will not only be loud, but probably even reasonable.

And if you don't think Tharoor would keep US interests in mind, than you are missing the "hidden story" behind this story. A man who works in Washington, do you not think that Washington and India have already discussed this well-before the actual candidature was announced? Shashi Tharoor's nomination is clearly a SOP that the US is giving India. It's saying "well we can't help you with the UN seat, but here, we'll give you the SG". Congress, in its usual SELL-OUT form will take that, cause it knows that the Indian people will be happy enough to ignore the UN seat. Moreover, the US knows that it will force India to "obey", because if it dont, well...it is slowly alienating itself and destroying its own independent foreign policy anyway, so it has no other choice.

THUS, I say, even though Shashi Tharoor is a great candidate, and even though he is Indian, I say NO to Shashi Tharoor...and certainly say NO, to the shenanigans of the Congress Party. Why India still deals with such crooks, I do not understand! :(

The great Tenzin Tsundue

I have many idols. There are many historical or contemporary figures I admire. I do not admire anyone wholly, but rather I find a specific notion/nature a person has to be enticing.

One of my heroes is the great Tenzen Tsundue. Though he has slowly started to understand "the way of the Dalai Lama", his is not the same path. I must admit, even I understand the strategy the Dalai Lama is doing (he knows he can't win a head-on battle), but than I see him hob-knobbing with the likes of Richard Gere (while his people suffer) and it infuriates me.

So a man like Tenzen Tsundue takes my heart. He once said the following:

Seeking Buddhahood is one thing, and freedom for a country is another. We are fighting for freedom IN the world, and not for freedom FROM the world.

I can't agree anymore. No doubt I - as a believer of Sanatana Dharma - must admit that non-violence is tantamount to violence, but as the Lord Buddha (for he is my "Physician") said as he was dieing: "I say this: all conditioned things are subject to decay, strive with diligence for your liberation". It is the notion of diligence and liberation I would like to highlight.

The government of China has shown its diligence. It's purpose: to destroy Tibetans and Tibetan culture. To colonize Tibet. So far they have succeeded because Tibetans just do not have the "strength" to fight them. It is sad. Martin Luther King Jr. once paraphrased Einstein by saying:
"the greatest sin of our time is not the few who have destroyed, but the vast majority who sit idly by".

Well, I am quite disillusioned by the Dalai Lama's "idle actions". I await the words of Tenzen Tsundue, who as far as I am concerned is the DeshNayak of Tibet. Hopefully he can succeed in freeing Tibet! :)

Please take a look at the mans writings. They are lovely. I particularly love "Between the Dragon and the Elephant". Here is a link: www.friendsoftibet.org/tenzin

Making "Papa Roach" look smart

The one thing I like to do more with a song than analyze it, is to change it. I'm not talking Weird Al style, though that is fun too, but I mean, I like to change one or two words here and there to "enhance" its meaning...or at least towards my taste.

There is a song called Last Resort by Papa Roach. It's the typical late 90s, early 2000s angst-rock that was popular on the mainstream stations. The lyrics therefore are the typical variety. Some middle-class, suburban white guy doesn't get enough from his mommy, so he writes and sings about how much he hates the World (seriously, metal and gangsta rap will always be popular, so long as there are enough teen-age guys who feel either emasculated and/or "lost").

But I love to make things out of nothing, and this is one of my favorite songs (MY version that is). I turned it around and changed the title to "LOST Resort" instead of "Last Resort". In doing so, I decided I was going to change the songs meaning to "an ode to John Milton".

John Milton was an English writer who lived from 12/9/1608 to 11/8/1674. He is best known for his works "Paradise Lost", as well as "Samson Agonistes". It is Paradise Lost I am referring to when I change the name from "LAST Resort" to "LOST Resort". The word resort actually means 'a place providing recreation and entertainment', so YES I must admit, it is a bit of a stretch, but I always think of some "getaway paradise" when I think of a resort.

The first verse in "Last Resort" goes as follows:

Cut my life into pieces
this is my last resort
suffocation, no breathing
don't give a fuck if I cut my arms bleeding
Would it be wrong, would it be right
if I took my life tonight, chances are that I might
Mutilation out of sight, and I'm contemplating suicide.

My version would go like this:

Cut my life into pieces
this is my Lost Resort...
Mutilation IS out of sight, and I'm contemplating suicide.

I basically only change Last to Lost, and add IS, highlighting that he can not see. John Milton went blind, so you can obviously see why I would want to highlight this (no pun intended).

The verse goes:

Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind
Wish someone would tell me I'm fine
Nothing is alright, nothing is fine.

I wouldn't even change this. This fits in with the life of John Milton. As I said, he went blind, and he was going mad because his wife left him. We'll get to that in a moment.

There is a line later where he says:

Downward spiral, where do I begin
It all started when I lost my mother
No love for myself, and no love for another
Searching to find a love upon a higher level
Finding nothing but questions and devils

I would change very little here also. The only problem is that John Milton never lost his mother. This obviously is something that can't be rectified in the lyrics. I have thought of numerous lines, but nothing really says "John Milton". I think the best line might be: It all started when I lost my LOVER. This actually fits perfectly, as Milton began writing the Doctrine and Discipline of Divorce right after his wife left him. So perhaps this "love upon a higher level" is him talking about the D and D of Divorce. Moreover, in Milton's "Paradise Lost", Satan very much sounds like a man who has lost his wife. Milton does this on purpose. He tries to suggest Satan is "devoid" much like he was...for Satan is no longer under God's grace...or God's love. This makes even more sense, as the last line is: Finding nothing but QUESTIONS and DEVILS! Ah, well "Paradise Lost" is all about the "fall of Satan and his rebel-angels" from Satan's perspective. Milton certainly could feel for Satan, as he too felt devoid of love. The fact that the woman he loved left...and than when she returned she eventually dies during child-care can certainly hurt someone deeply I would think. He also lost one of his children (his only son I believe) when the child was exceptionally young.

Essentially, to summarize, my argument is that certain lines in the song LAST RESORT by Papa Roach when he mentions losing his sight, wanting to kill himself, losing somebody he loves, as well as the reference to questioning (and Milton CERTAINLY questioned and attacked many practices of his day) and devils can easily be sowed together.

I think "LOST Resort" has a lot more meaning that "Last Resort" don't you? Now enjoy the song, since I have given it real value. :p

My Hero (by the Foo Fighters)

So for a long time I have suggested the theory that "My Hero" by the Foo Fighters (by the way, Foo Fighters is a mixed-language name in that Foo means Fire...so its the Fire Fighters. This highlights the "Big Me" video where the band is dressed like Fire Fighters) is about OJ Simpson.

If you take a look at the lyrics, he is clearly talking about his hero (duh). But take a look at the verse, and it clearly appears he's singing about OJ Simpson! For example, he says "truth or consequence, say it aloud, use that evidence, race it around". Is he referring to the Race Card?! Would you too not remove the pictures of your hero if he was arrested for murder? The first verse in my opinion emphatically suggests that it is OJ Simpson he is referring to.

The second verse supports it as well. Where he says: "there goes my hero, watch him as he goes, there goes my hero, he's ordinary" it suggests a disillusionment, because the hero is now shed in an "ordinary" light. The following lyrics don't have it, but in the song itself, he also screams "was it so!". This is an obvious allusion to the famous statement said by a kid to "Shoeless" Joe Jackson during the 1919 Black Sox scandal "Say it ain't so, Joe. Say it ain't so!".

Now, the counterargument is that it could just be about ANY hero has been "dragged down" into ordinary-ness (if that is even a word), but that is why the "truth or consequence" and "use that evidence" lines are so important. He is clearly referring to some sort of trial (be it by jury or otherwise), but more importantly the "race it around" phrase sticks out. It only makes sense to expect the statement "race it around" to refer to the Race Card that was played by the OJ Simpson legal team! The Race Card worked perfectly, and OJ was found not-guilty.

The last verse also adds to the meaning. He says "kudos my hero, leaving all the best, there goes my hero, the one that's on". The one that's on what?! On TV! OJ was found not-guilty, and Dave Grohl is saying kudos.

Here are the lyrics, you can judge for yourself. :)

too alarming to talk about
take your pictures down
and shake it out
truth or consequence, say it aloud
use that evidence, race it around

there goes my hero
watch him as he goes
there goes my hero
he's ordinary

don't the best of them bleed it out
while the rest of them peter out
truth or consequence, say it aloud
use that evidence, race it around

kudos my hero
leaving all the best
you know my hero
the one that's on

Rainbow Connection

Rainbow Connection (by Kermit the Frog...actually written by Kenny Ascher and Paul Williams).

Why are there so many songs about rainbows
And what's on the other side?
Rainbows are visions, but only illusions,
And rainbows have nothing to hide.
So we've been told and some choose to believe it
I know they are wrong, wait and see.
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the dreamers and me.

Who said that every wish would be heard and answered,
When wished on the morning star?
Somebody thought of that, and someone believed it,
And look what it's done so far.
What's so amazing that keeps us star-gazing,
And what do we think we might see?
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The lovers, the Dreamers and Me.

All of us under its spell,
we know that it's probably magic...

...Have you been half asleep? And have you heard voices?
I've heard them calling my name.
...Is it the sweet sound that calls the young sailors?
The voice might be one and the same.
I've heard it too many times to ignore it
It's something I'm supposed to be...
Someday we'll find it, the rainbow connection,
The Lovers, the Dreamers, and Me.

This is my favorite English-language song. It's an absolutely amazing piece of work. Kermit heartfully makes some amazing points.

The first verse establishes that Kermit does not believe that rainbows are merely illusions. I suppose frogs do not grasp basic science like humans do, but than again, I don't think he is quite literally speaking about rainbows anyway. He is suggesting that there really IS a "rainbow connection".

The second verse illuminates the point drastically. He talks about wishing on a star. Again, this is something that people BELIEVE works. Kermit turns around and sutbetly suggests that it is BELIEF that is important. For "look what it's done so far". Granted, the cynic would say: "I bet the success rate of wishing on a star is very bad", but the notion of belief itself is what Kermit is suggesting...just like how he BELIEVES that people are wrong about rainbows being merely illusions. He believes that "someday we will find it, the rainbow connection...".

The last part of this line ("someday we will find...") is the most impressive one, as it makes an allusion to Cyrano de Bergerac (which in turn makes a reference to "the Two Noble Kings" if I'm not mistaken). In "The Two Noble Kings", there is a conversation between Theseus and Hyppolita. Theseus suggests how lovers have "strong imaginations" much like the Dreamers and the Madmen. In many ways I would have to agree with Theseus. Lovers, Dreamers, Madmen etc. have a sort of "romantic" notion to them. There is a certaion notion of passion involved. Is not Don Quixote a Lover, a Dreamer or a Madman? I would argue he is all three! The very conversatoin had between Theseus and Hyppolita shows that Shakespeare is questiong reality itself...or at least how people perceive the world. Hyppolita talks about how "wonderous" their stories are. The stories however suggest that they are probably based on reality...and thus, the notion of reality itself is muddled.

It's been a long time, but if I recall correctly, Cyrano de Bergerac (I doubt you'd be surprised that an ugly fool like me would consider it an Amazing story...I think it was Ayn Rand who called it "the greatest play in World literature". I certainly consider it "up there" on any list) refers to this statement. In the "lunatics" scene, the idea of "lunatics" (people from the moon) is very much similar to "the madmen", and it is quite obvious the writer intends to refer to Shakespeare (by the way, the Steve Martin movie-adapation named "Roxanne" is in my opinion one of the best stage-to-movie adaptations ever. I love the choices made. Very underrated movie!).

But the most amazing part of this statement by Kermit the Frog is that he says "someday WE will find it, the rainbow connection, the Lovers, the Dreamers and ME". He is saying his is MAD! He is saying he is a lunatic! That he's NUTS! Whoa Kermit, no wonder why I consider you the greatest kids character ever invented! Kermit truly is an amazing charachter. Popular, but shy. He is a superstar, and yet he is a brooding philosopher/thinker. Kermit is one of my heroes.

He than asks "have you been half-asleep? And have you heard voices?" He's talking about reality and perception again. Are you awake or asleep? Are you half asleep? The notion of being half-asleep is incredible. You are neither in the dream world or hte world "of the living". Perhaps you are day-dreaming. It is still a matter of perception, reality and your place in it. For that matter, it is a call. A call to wake up and realize what is around you, and to realize your self (not to mention yourself...which is differen than the phrase "your self").

He makes this "call, and than talks about the voices. This is intriguing because of the Greek Sirens reference. He says he hears voices (is he Mad?!) cause they are calling his name. The Sirens are trying to distract him from his goal. The Sirens are beautiful, seductive, and they are calling for him. They are trying to keep him from the "right path" (as is said in Hindi: Sai Rastha). What is amazing though is that he turns around and ADMITS that "its something I'm supposed to be"! Think about it. Kermit the Frog is an entertainment's sake character. He is a distraction. A beautiful, seductive distraction. But Kermit is the "brooding philosopher" actor. He is Kurt Cobain of "Kids entertainment characters". You can HAVE Mickey Mouse (that pretentious fake-ass mouse...I see right through him). You can HAVE Bugs Bunny (that cross-dressing devil). I'd rather have the self-aware, brooding, philosophical, Kermit the Frog. He admits he is a distraction. He also admits that he can not be that (he's supposed to be it, but he can't). He has a conscience!

In essence, this song is about understanding reality, and perception. It is about illuminating the notion of faith amongst that which "science prevails". I have nothing against science personally, but I love Kermit's raw admissions. It is also about finding something. Kermit talks about "what's so amazing that keeps us star-gazing". He is surrounded in the corporate world, and yet he is thinking deeper. He is a great example of those people who (at least pretend if not really) see the shallowness of Hollywood and/or success (for that matter THE WORLD) and still search for more. He is those people who would rather "find the rainbow connection".

Someday maybe we WILL find the Rainbow Connection. Either way, this is an amazingly well written song. It alludes to Greek myth, Shakespeare, Cyrano de Bergerac, and is boldly honest (as Kermit admits he's a "Siren"). It is my favorite English-language song. I hope by reading this, you too can appreciate it like I do. :)

Another direction

So I've been feeling very empty lately. It's really been more about "future plans" than anything else, to be quite honest. I created issues that really should never have been issues to begin with. It's sad (and pathetic) how people (and certainly I have been) try to grasp for things when they are feeling down. Lately I've felt like a fish in far too shallow water. I was drowning, and instead of acting responsible and doing something about it, I grasped for those things that had made me happy in the past (including her).

I am learning though, and for the first time in a long time, I think I'm "growing". I am still quite empty right now, but instead I have made this emptiness "work for me". I have started to learn to cook Indian food. I've also started doing Yoga daily. I've begun to pray every day. I've also decided that by the end of the Summer, I will have made a decision whether I am going back to law school (next year), whether I will continue in the business world (not bloody likely, unless my dream job falls into my lap) or whether another direction is needed.

That being said, I would like to go in a different direction now as far as the blog is concerned. I'd like to get away from the morbid poetry that I have been posting onto some stuff I find more FUN!

As anyone who knows me knows, I LOVE music. I'm a music fanatic, and the thing I love doing most with music is to memorize it, and analyze it. Perhaps it's cause I was never challenged in school, that I like to "test" myself by analyzing writing...which includes music.

I plan on analyzing a couple of songs. I'm a bit worried, cause I don't know the copyright laws that go with blogging, but I will make sure to site the musician (as far as I know), so as to give proper credit.

The first song I'd like to analyze is what I consider my ALL-TIME FAVORITE SONG that is sung in English. My favorite song of all time is O Saathi Re (yes, I am a true romantic, and cheese-ball at that!), and my all time favorite English-language song sung by a HUMAN is George Harrison's "My Sweet Lord" (as far as I'm concerned, George Harrison is an honorary Indian...he has earned the right to be called Indian). That being said, my all time favorite English-language song is NOT sung by a Human (well actually it is, but I'd like to believe it's not!), but is sung by Kermit the Frog! It is called "Rainbow Connection".

I will continue with a few other songs afterwards, and than when I get bored of this exercise, I will move onto something else...we shall see where the wind takes me. :)

Mere Sapnon Ki Rani (Parts I, II, III, IV)

Part I

I am being haunted
A deep lull from within, that
grabs at me. Scratches at the walls
of the sanctimonious cell I have created.

The lurching feeling within my stomach
has become redundant. I have become so
satisfied by the pain that I no longer recognize
what kind of pleasure I am capable of.

It is forcing me to construct. Forcing me to strike
against this self-created prison. This prison that
this World has so happily watched me build. The
bricks and mortar so quickly subsidized by the system
of it all.

In recent nights, a sweet voice has called out. Is it my
own mind trying to get attention? Is it my soul
trying to save myself from the cruel habitual beatings
this World constantly enforces? I am like a slave,
but lately, I have heard the sweet rumblings of
the river bed, crashing against the rough terrain of rocks
and jagged pricks.

I lay awake, wondering where this voice comes from. Is it from
within me? Or is the voice without? If it is without, what am
I missing? Images fill my mind of the sweetest smile. A smile
I will not soon forget.

This haunting, this voice, this 'woman of my dreams' is you.
My body shakes with fear at the thought of ghosts consuming me,
but it is nothing compared to the fear of not being good enough for you.
My mind aches at the thought of the perpetual beating that life
after life considers humorous, but thoughts of you subside it all.

Part II

If I was Pygmalion, and my hands carved the perfect face, the perfect
temperament, and the quintessential intangibles that I wanted, I have no doubt, my
creation would be as close to you as any human can possibly imagine.

I lay awake at nights with your imagine in my mind. I slide my hands in the
air, like a maestro with his baton, pretending to create your face over and over
again. Every little detail so very important. Every feature infinitely necessary.

Laying there I feel the pain of a thousand lifetimes, and the yearning of a
soul so close to finding what it has been looking for all these many years. My
bed, like a beach, withholds me, forces me to feel the crash of wave after wave.
Maurya has taken the form of the moon, and is commanding the mighty ocean to
try and capture me. Drag me into itself. Into the abyss where madmen like
Ahab reside for the rest of eternity.

Yet it is the strength of your face, and the resolve of my mind that keeps me
steadfast. Keeps me from drifting away. Keeps me from losing control. Keeps
me from sliding into oblivion.

Your lips remind me of lotus flowers. Now I understand why my ancestors
considered them to be holy. Just looking at them brings me closer to God. I
can still imagine how they taste like. The Indian 'amrit', theGreek 'ambrosia'
comes to mind.

I want to reach out and feel them. The inside of red roses can not match
the soft geography of your lips. I want to know every inch.

The way your hair is tied. I watch it like a child stares at virgin snow.
Tempted, I want to reach out and undo it, but not to disturb, rather to
see the beauty that is being withheld from me.

I want to see the soft silk strands cascade down like a waterfall. Spiders
are jealous of what the Lord has created. I want to caress them, feel them
slide between my fingers, as I gently massage your mind.

Part III

I am inundated at nights. I lay awake in agony
contemplating the war waging in my soul. On one side is
societies smirk, and on the other is the image of your sweet smile.

You have completely devoured me.
How can I bare to live another moment without the sweet feel
of your teeth grazing against me. What can I do but to take
satisfaction in the soft moans my taste can give you. I hope
tasting me fulfills you.

I lay awake, and yet I toss and turn between
this dream and this nightmare. The voice is yours, that is certain.
Am I without? Like a knife gently scraping against a blackboard wall
the cacaphony of all my fears, all my anxieties, all my doubts are
building momentum.

But your voice. Oh that sweet gentle sound of the earth moving
when your lips part. It keeps me awake. It keeps me alive and
ready. I only hope what it has to say, will be music to my ears.

For you are the 'woman of my dreams'. Tu mere sapnon ki rani hai.

Part IV

Crazy, my thoughts have become. The heart flutters heavy
for but one sweet sight. But when my eyes lock with yours,
the very pit of Hell forces me to look away.

How can this be? Your voice it brings me hope, like
some forgone Kshutriya craving for the sweetest flower that
one is promised from childbirth.
Yet, now when I hear it, my hands tremble, and the
deep recesses of my body ache in sheer shame.

Am I close to anything you find acceptable?
Am I anything like your dreams? I fear the only times
I may ever haunt your nights will be something less than auspicious.

Love is too confusing. It makes one micro-manage each act, each thought.
Yet watching your lips gently part, and your cheeks
slightly compress makes it all worthwhile.

I want to be free from this world. I want to be lost in your arms.
I want to bare the burden of your weight upon my body.

Could you allow? What do I need to do to satisfy.
To classify, and sanctify. I understand I may not be enough.
Mercy is a word I rarely whisper, but my lips are already making their way.

Enough of this charade. These, pathetic wails of a rock with no proof.
The tigers are disappearing, becoming extinct.
Their growls come from within me, and without you,
soon, they will devour me whole.

The Lady and the lake

The lake beside my house
has been singing to me as of late.
I'm not sure if I can muster the courage
to reply back.

I hear her voice fluttering away,
calling in distress, this mistress,
this empress of success,
trying to reel me into her abyss
trying to drown me in her tumult.

I can not say that my doubts and fears
have not heard her too.
They have become anxious to overcome
their past reputations, and meet this
child of a planet long since passed away.

I pace around my home. Encircling all
that I have found comfort in, racing from
side to side, contemplating whether she
is a siren or the sun.

Suddenly a wind picks upon me. I shake
my fist in defiance, but my pride washes
away like the sand castles on the beach.

My soul has been stirred.

Dropping an oath at the ball

Well, I thought I knew you yesterday
but now it's just for free.
And I swear I threw a guess today
but 1+1 ain't three.

Can you help me find my way back again
I bare too many scars.
The map has lost the mark I sent
and I do not know how to read stars.

Sometimes life is what you want it to be
still, we search for something more.
Lovelines can never be what you seek
if all you are is a whore.

Tomorrow will just be another moment
cherish it my dear.
Cause I'm a boat without paddles
and you are duty-bound to steer.

Confusion

She says she loves me!!!
wait, how can this be?
She says she loves me!!
wait and see.
She says she loves me!
weight is futility.

She says she loves me,
but how do I know.
she says she loves me,
but how long till she goes.
she says she loves me,
but I will not allow,
she says she loves me,
with a sudden vow.

he turns in shock, 360 degrees,
filled with a certain sense of humility,
he embraces his love, smiling wide
knowing She will always be by his side.

We will be loyal scouts

Bandages swathe the mind
like the prickly pins of a waking limb.
I never thought you could be so cruel,
but you continue to amaze me.

I need a compass, you reply...
lost in sudden tranquility.
What happened to all those times
the sun drenched through to shine your face
and lit my world up with your grace.

Carriages hold a baby now
endowed with another pleasure
how
I imagine my life could be that pure...
than again, so do you, I'm sure.

Salty rain

I'm a shell of what I used to be
not to say there was much substance before
but now I understand that she was just using me
that girl that I still adore.

Her smiles and affectionate cuddles
not to say they weren't real
but the crystal picture has now been muddled
along with how we feel.

My mind plays its formulating games
not to say its not right
but it only serves to ignite the flames
I still want to light up her nights.

Whatever happens is what it will be
not to say it is pre-ordained
but tomorrow is not easily seen
through my self-induced salty rain

The lesson (Haiku)

There was a time when
she would fill my ears
oh, how I miss that sweet sound.

I am drowning now
amongst all my fears
ambivalence drags me down.

Memories I have
they attack me still
nibbling on her earlobe.

How she said my name
How she devoured me
How she would say I love you.

I knew I loved her
but couldn't say it
I wanted to marry her.

Hesitation hurts
it has hurt us both
I'll regret it forever.

But I can't give up
I must continue
be it with her or without.

In the end we are
that which we become
for the first time in a while
I want to be
and that is the lesson learned.